Imagine being held hostage. Only no one knows you’re being held, hostage. You’re forced to plaster on a smile during public appearances, so as not to alert the outside world of the danger you are in. Contrary to most hostage situations, there are no prayer vigils begging for your release. There is no ransom being gathered to free you. And there is definitely no mission being planned to rescue you. Should you manage to escape, instead of rejoicing at your liberation, you are told that God wants you to go back and love your captor well. This is domestic violence.
IT’S STILL violence they do not need to hit you, choke you, or slam your head into a wall up order for it to be violence. They can degrade you, humiliate you, blame you, scream at you, mislead you cheat you, and withhold finances, or maybe just attempt to control you + it IS still domestic violence.
- Using Coercion & Threats Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her. threatening to go away from her, to kill, to report her to welfare, making her drop charges, making her do illegal things.
- Using Intimidation Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures smashing things, destroying her property, abusing pets, displaying weapons.
- Using Emotional Abuse Putting her down, making her feel bad about herself, calling her name making her think she’s crazy playing mind games, humiliating her, making her feel guilty
- Minimizing, Denying & Blaming Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously, saying the abuse didn’t happen, shifting responsibility for abusive behavior, saying she caused it.
- Using Male Privilege Treating her like a servant, making all the big decisions, acting like the “master of the castle,” is the one to define men’s and women’s roles, societal privilege in general
- Using Isolation Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes, limiting her outside involvement, using jealousy to justify actions
- INTENSITY Excessive charm, LYING to cover up insecurity, needing to win over your friends and family immediately. OVER THE TOP gestures that seem too much too soon BOMBARDING you with numerous texts and in a short time, behaving obsessively, insisting that you get serious IMMEDIATELY
- BLAME Making you feel GUILTY and responsible for his or her behavior blaming the world or you for his or her PROBLEMS, emotional manipulation, always saying “this is your FAULT.
- ANGER OVERREACTING TO small problems tre- quietly losing control vacant OUTBURSTS. having severe mood swings drinking or partying excessively when upset, making THREATS. picking FIGHTS, having a history of violent behavior and making you are feeling AFRAID.
- CRITICISM Calling you overweight, UGLY. STUPID or carry, ridiculing your ambitions or friends. telling you he or she is the only one who really cares about you BRAINWASH- ING you to feel worthless.
Also, read – Why Mental Health Care should be Free?